Some years, I make New Year’s resolutions, but most years, I don’t. There is a part of me that thinks that they aren’t necessary, you know, just try to be your best every day, but what if there is something magical to a New Year’s resolution? What if I can make a habit in February and a lifestyle by March?
What if Ianus (Janus cause there are no J’s in Latin), the god of doorways and new beginnings, was on to something? What if January is a springboard into a better tomorrow? Admittedly, I am not where I am at in life, and maybe some of my habits, or lack thereof, are to blame.
1. Listening to my body more—and not just when she says she wants another cupcake either, but also why is she craving a cupcake? Do I need more magnesium? I once discovered that when a particular friend would text, I would immediately get anxious. We are no longer friends and have not been for a while. Even though we were very close, there was an aspect of our friendship that was marred in darkness and discomfort, so much so that they lied about why we were ever at odds about it. Since then, I have paid close attention to how my body reacts to certain people.
If my nervous system doesn’t like them, then they shouldn’t be around me.
Listening to my body also means sleep. I am notoriously the first person to go to sleep in any setting, but if I’m tired, it’s ok not to go; it’s ok to not be worn down in settings when I’m the only one responsible for my duties. Listening to my body also means that Aleve is a much more temporary solution than yoga is…go to the yoga.
2. I am not arguing as much—boy, I love a good argument more than I would like to admit. I should’ve been a lawyer, but I would probably always be held in contempt of court for telling the judge that they were indeed out of order and not me. But I must do a better job at learning to embrace the 99 “yeses” over the one “no.” Not everyone is going to like you; not everyone has good taste. These people are not going to cover my gray hair or my medical expenses. What time are they taking from me that I can waste in better places, at the very least?
I’m still going to tell people about themselves when they blatantly disrespect me. I’m just gonna do it with fewer words—baby steps, you know.
3. Put my projects first, even if it’s just 15 minutes a day. When I give myself a deadline, I give myself way too much leeway. That deadline will continue to get revived for another day if I have anything to do with it. Meanwhile, how many moments a day have I wasted on things that are not ever going to benefit me, even with a lesson learned? I can argue with a loser on the internet for an hour but can’t devote 15 minutes to myself?! And I love the f*ck out of me. I don’t even know that person.
4. Stop talking myself out of good ideas. I see things on the internet and I’m like, “that’s ok,” and those things are widely successful, not that I am hating on them, I just know that if I can produce something better but haven’t then I am doing myself a disservice. The one thing I miss about my twenties is my ability to put things in the atmosphere without caring about how they are perceived; that was so freeing. Though my good ideas have not slowed, my boldness in their production is at a far too high level for my comfort or hell discomfort.
5. Get organized. I just really want my upstairs to look like my downstairs. During my freshman year in college, I was super organized, honestly, to unhealthy proportions. My third year in college saw tornadic-like conditions in my bedroom that were the result of the first time my heart was broken. I wanna find that safe spot, one that smells like green tea and mint diffusers. Either way, I can’t let an 18-year-old best me; even if it was me, it still shouldn’t be my best me. Last year, I started buying plastic bins and a label maker, and boy, that’s BIN fun and helpful.
Even with my short stint as a resident of Neat Freak Island in college, I am always perplexed at how people manage that. My mother is a neat freak, but I rarely see her clean up; she’s also a magician, so that could be it. Having dated a neat freak or two, I marvel at how they just get right out of the bed and, like, make it immediately.
I love that for them; I’m gonna try that when I finally get out of bed.
6. Be prepared. Getting ready is always easier than staying ready. You ever just have somebody pop up at the house, and you’re like, “damn, I was gonna clean….tomorrow.” What if I was already organized, though—see number five. When it comes to performing, I am good at winging it harder than a Chili’s platter, and while I still do well there, I can’t imagine how much more successful I would be if I didn’t have to gamble with my success in the first place.
How much sharper would I have been had I known something more firmly than when I went to present in a rushed manner, like having this article written last night instead of today, for instance?
Most people resort back to the person they were before, but the thing about being your best self is that it generally requires you to be better than most people and examine your worst attributes. Here’s to doing all the self-discovery necessary to make your New Year’s resolutions lists shorter and shorter than the year before.
Ayelet Fishbach’s book on resolutions also provides some great tips if you slip a bit…
1. Give your goal a number: Instead of walking more, delineate the amount of steps you want to take.
2. Remember to make it fun.
3. Focus on what you’ve accomplished when you feel yourself losing steam
