It’s 2023, and while for some of us, this is just another year, others make an active resolution to change things about themselves and/or their lives. I never went into the new year with a resolution about what I was going to change, but in the last few years, I have developed “mantras” for the year.
I thought maybe this year I would extend that list to some things I really need to do and reiterate what has worked for me in the past.
- Do it now because you still won’t want to do it later anyway. I would be lying if I said procrastinating wasn’t one of my worst habits, but earlier last year, I realized that in adulting, there was never going to be a point where I suddenly wanted to happily tackle those dishes, but the dishes were going to have to get done eventually and in the space that I could’ve easily tackled that task, I took time away from something else that I also had to do, therefore increasing my workload and my anxiety about all of the other tasks I still had left to finish.
- Don’t acknowledge people who can’t acknowledge the harm they’ve caused you. This one is from 2021, which still does not feel like two years ago, but here we are. Boundaries are there for a reason. They are to keep us safe, whether that is emotionally or physically. If someone cannot acknowledge the boundary that they’ve crossed, then they can easily feign knowledge of that boundary in the future and have little recourse not to cross it again.
- If you are invited into that room, it’s because they wanted you to be in there. So many times, I’ve second-guessed my presence in spaces where my work was being considered for a business opportunity, and generally, I have let my imposter syndrome get the best of me. Clearly, if someone seeks you out for an opportunity, it’s because they want to work with you. You’ve already passed the sniff test. GO FOR IT!
- Don’t be afraid to cut people off who aren’t afraid to cut you. Sadly, not all friendships and romantic relationships last, and many times we fail ourselves by staying in relationships that may feel good to us but aren’t good for us. We sometimes hold on to people too long because we confuse missing the companionship with missing the companion. Not all endings are bad, but a split end serves no one’s growth. Cut it off.
- Stop talking myself out of good ideas. Humans have a knack for talking ourselves into detriment and talking ourselves out of things that we know are beneficial, but we are too afraid to make that leap. If you can go to that man’s house and you know you shouldn’t, then you can pursue that passion that scares you.
- Show up for yourself. We will cook and clean with the expectation of company but won’t cook and clean for ourselves. We will make sure we show up to work for someone else, but we won’t even spend 15 minutes on a passion project. We will be a foundation for others before we build anything for ourselves. We will forgive other people even if they don’t offer us an apology while beating ourselves up every day. Do we make everyone else a priority and hope to fill ourselves up with the crumbs they left after we have served them? You deserve more than just the leftovers of your own life.
There is no such thing as a perfect year. Every year has ups and downs. Some scales tip one way more than others but being your best self is a journey for every single day and every single year.
Here’s to your 2023 being one of the greatest years you’ve ever had.
