On Mother’s Day, Kevin Hart dragged his wife, Eniko Hart, to an event to celebrate him because apparently no other day was available, and no one else has a mother whom they’d like to celebrate.
The roast was a three-hour-long circle jerk of mostly male comedians talking about how awful each other is, and while entertaining to most, there were definitely parts that were absolutely cringeworthy and caused a great deal of internet chatter. The recurring topic of the night was, “I can be racist because this is a roast, so it’s OK,” followed by some homophobia, fatphobia and ableism. This proved many things to be true: Dave Chappelle wasn’t really canceled at all, and even some of the greatest comedians are too stupid to know how punching down works.
Shane Gillis, the host, who looks like a small child who was eaten by a much larger man, a man who looks easy to draw, a man whose hairline has decided to quit working for him—a man who’s funny because he’s a white man, not actually because he’s funny, made jokes about lynching and comparing Kevin Hart to the monkey from Aladdin—and just like a little dog, Kevin poked out his belly and laughed profusely. Shane made sure to make jokes about skin color, lynching jokes, because Black men hanging by their throats from trees, even if they are teeny tiny ones, is hilarious, but he did call out Chelsea Handler for being a zionist—because she is—which might have been his only redeeming moment. Chelsea, on the other hand, was one of the few redeeming comedians of the night, highlighting Tony Henchman’s support of a fascist dictator.
Tony Hegsethcliff, who is a famous alt-right comedian, not someone Black people actually care about, made jokes about a Black man who was murdered by the police while standing on a stage in Black-ass Englewood, California. While some stated that it was only fair because Pete Davidson did a joke about Charlie Kirk, it isn’t. Kirk was a man murdered who had racist views; George Floyd was murdered because of how he was viewed by a racist. Floyd’s unfortunate murder has been used as a talking point by white Americans for years, and no one gets doxxed for doing it, but let a white man, who was known for his racist rhetoric, get shot, and somehow making fun of death is wrong by those same people, and you should be threatened with death for doing so. Tony has the complexion of the tomatoes that should have been thrown in his face. Tony Heilman — excuse me, Hinchcliff — looks like a villain who just finished puberty. After being dropped by his agency in 2021 for his use of anti-Asian slurs against another comedian, Tony was embraced even more by white men, whose greater accomplishment is how miserable they’ve made everyone else around them. Tony made a comeback during a Trump/Vance presidential rally, making fun of various ethnic groups. Despite a documented history of racism, he was still invited, and Kevin Hart’s weak ass loudly clapped his hands in laughter, as if they were too big for his body.
In real life, Tony uses making fun of others as a deflection of his insecurities about being abandoned. Tony is the bastard child of a married man who couldn’t give a fuck enough about his mother to do more than just fuck her. Tony is what happens when white boys don’t get picked for a pickup game of ball or get into the college they want. The best part about Tony’s comedy is not its punchlines but his punchable face, and all the while, Kevin Hart’s little bite-sized ass sat up there with his legs dangling from his seat, laughing hysterically.
What’s even worse is Kevin Hart, who cheated on his dark-skinned wife — don’t worry, he cheated on his biracial wife too — and has made jokes about dark-skinned women in the past, sat his travel-pack-sized-looking ass up on that stage showing off those big-ass teeth like a racist caricature of Black people, laughing his ass off as white comedians made several references to Draymond Green and Sheryl Underwood’s dark skin, even going so far as comparing her to a donkey.
Don’t worry, jokes about his children were off limits, so Kevin’s dark-skinned children remained unscathed.
At the end of the night, Kevin’s much larger partner in crime, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, finished out the list of guests by dropping the R-word like he was sure that Disney wasn’t going to renew his contract anyway. It was such a weird thing to see someone make a legacy off being a big, handsome nice guy, even outside of wrestling, show himself as an ableist, dropping a slur numerous times, just in case we missed him trying to be cool.
An interesting thing about the special is that the same comedians who were defending “free speech” couldn’t compete with Katt Williams, who didn’t need to particularly offend any group to go straight to the jugular, like one of Pete Davidson’s jokes. Katt Williams, a longtime enemy of Kevin, was by far the funniest person there, including Kevin, who decided to end the roast with jokes that landed as well as he would if he jumped from a second-story balcony. The jokes sounded like he had just started comedy three weeks prior.
Despite that, Kevin Hart, for most intents and purposes, is funny, even though he rarely punches down, mostly because he’s already so low to the floor. However, he still managed to enjoy cruelty disguised as comedy because he knew he was receiving a nice check, and partying with white racists is a lot easier when you have green. A nice cherry on top was how he made sure to say nigga about fiftyleven times at the end, though, to affirm his Blackness after Blackness had been insulted so many times throughout the night. It’s a wonder what white comedians would joke about if Black people didn’t exist, and it is a wonder that these people don’t know how punching down works. If they are all joking amongst friends, then keep it in the group chat. There is no need to offend entire demographics of people because you want to show love to your homeboy. Comedians are clearly playing in our faces if they think we don’t know any better. The worst part was that, out of all of the things that were disgusting that night, his approval of them was the worst.
Kevin Hart is proof that niggas act real funny once they get a little money.
Also, Eniko is only with you because you’re rich.
