This week, Cam Newton released an interview with D-list comedian Corey Holcomb. The two sat down on his podcast for almost three hours of Holcomb spouting hypocritical nonsense directed at women. Early on in the interview, Holcomb brought up BBLs, which he claims are done by dumb b*tches who suffer from mental illness but has no problem having sex with women who have them. Holcomb goes into further detail by excusing women who felt pressure to get BBLs because of hustle culture, and that is somewhat excusable because they were without a leader, a man, of course, and immediately used actions done in his youth as an example of when he “used to do dirt,” to get money. Fortunately for him, he was able to get from under the spell of hustle culture, maybe he, too, was without his man to lead him, during that time.
Later in the interview, the two played a word association game, where Newton reads a name, and Holcomb has to answer with only one word, fortunately for him. Out of all the words thought-leader Holcomb’s neurons could come up with, he used the word “hustler” for Donald Trump and “fake” for Kamala Harris. The guy born rich, who scammed people out of millions, has a spray tan and hair plugs, is not the fake one, and the woman who grew up in a working-class neighborhood and is now running for president is not the hustler… hmm, okay. When asked about Jess Hilarious in the same game, he called her “unhilarious.” Jess has a job and 6 million followers on Instagram, while Holcomb has 144,000 followers on Instagram and an IMDB, with the latest entry being in 2019.
Jess might not be funny, but neither is her money.
To his credit, Cam Newton called out Holcomb for his hypocrisy several times during the interview, including his liking of T.I., while condemning Cardi B’s actions. For Holcomb, the difference is that T.I. was delivering his testimony in his music and Cardi was not. Remember, class, it is a testimony when there is a beat behind it.
Later, Corey talks about his preference for impoverished women, kinda like a passport bro, but for the Chicago Housing Authority. “I got a fast car, and I got access to a lot of girls in poverty, so I’m winning.” “Women in poverty, I can control them better,” and “Women in poverty can’t afford to say f*ck you, Corey, I’m gone. Most specifically, he does not believe in monogamy for men with money. According to him, there are too many poor beautiful women in the world for men to be with just one. In the interview, he acknowledges that it may be wrong, but the women with whom he sleeps can at least get something nice for their children because they were blessed with strong stomachs, even if they have to endure empty pockets. As Newton pushes back on some of Holcomb’s comments possibly being sexist, Holcomb responds, “What is sexism? I don’t know what that means,” of course not…as Cam stammers to explain, he interjects, “a word stupid bitches made up.” It is a perplexing thing to watch a 56-year-old comedian with a pink chewed-up fedora and a jacket that looks like Grandma Mable’s favorite quilt, whose greatest role was, “hey, I know you, you’re what’s his name… yea…what did you play in? …..oh, that’s right, keep up the good work, fam,” espouse such a crazy level of misogyny, when he could be writing a script.
Newton does his best, bless his heart, to define the word sexism, and calls it a “gender deficiency,” “like a man can only be this and a female can only be that,” man and female, hmmmm, Oh Cam. However, when Newton has to call you out for being sexist…Jesus Christ. Holcomb clarifies his statement about dating poor women by stating he does not want to control them by force, but clearly, desperation is okay. He explains that he wants to control them because he is naturally “the leader of the pack.” It is obvious that women who have more options would not choose Holcomb, so he must seek the company of women whose desperation is just as large as his wallet and whose options are fewer than his inches. However, Holcomb does not mind sleeping with women with money but will not pursue a relationship with them because women with money might require some basic humanity from him. “If you can take care of yourself, you gone think you can talk to me.” Holcomb didn’t even finish his statement with ‘any kind of way,’ nope, he meant to talk to him in general. It could also be an issue when Holcomb begins to talk and women with options realize how unattractive he is and move on to the next and Holcomb is being preemptive.
The conversation then moves to Diddy, and of course, the logorrhea kept coming.
While comparing every sexual relationship outside of marriage to prostitution, he attempts to separate his sexist actions and rhetoric from Diddy’s actions by asking Newton rhetorically, “Do you beat bitches up at the elevator?” He follows that up by answering his own question, “I’m not someone who takes advantage of people,” after just mentioning how he only dates poor, desperate women. At this time, Newton confronts Holcomb over allegedly holding a woman’s head to a window, to which Newton states that he would never hit a woman, … “even if she had it coming.” He then asks Newton if he ever had to “physically discipline a woman.”
It’s a wonder that Holcomb’s almost ex-wife left him in 2023 and not a moment sooner.
In a separate interview, Holcomb also explains his wife leaving him was better for his lifestyle because he would never be able to be with just one woman. This man is 56. While stating that he is not a bad guy, Holcomb later states that nice guys finish last and advocates for physical discipline for rebellious women, but only as a last resort. When Newton asks him if he would ever conform in a relationship, he asserts that his having to discipline the woman he is dating is conforming enough because it is something that he does not want to do, but of course, only if he must. To him, there is also never a situation where the “female,” leads, we are not talking about how someone like JessHilarious leads him in fans and finances, but in relationships of course. Don’t you worry, the self-proclaimed fair leader, who wants women to know that they have a place, even though his is far behind the salaries of some female comedians, will make sure you are in a good place, and that your faithfulness will not be rewarded with his.
Trying to control women but not being able to control your d*ck is one hell of a punchline.
Holcomb also refers back to the controversial past guest Dr. Bryant’s single status. Dr. Bryant is a guest who challenged some of Newton’s views on relationships between men and women. Holcomb, the new divorcé, talks about Bryant’s failed relationships and insinuates that she is a lesbian because of her current single status. It is such a shame that more good men like Holcomb are not out there to cure her of her good-man-finding issues. As if he couldn’t fit his size eight shoe down his throat any further, Holcomb actually says, “Men are not capable of creating broken homes,” Holcomb, who has two children and a possible, can you even build a home? Yes, Holcomb has a possible outside child who is grown, and with all this technology, he has yet to confirm whether the child is his or not. He continues that it is the woman’s responsibility for a child to know his father. According to this logic, if a man leaves or if the couple breaks up, it is a woman’s responsibility to make sure a man does his fatherly duties.
He is probably waiting for that woman to test his DNA for him.
As the dumpster fire of an interview continues to burn, Holcomb talks about the hierarchy of various women in his life. While describing one woman as short and stumpy, the irony, he keeps her around because of her sexual prowess. He also mentions how he rarely likes talking to the women he sleeps with. But there is hope, ladies, because every once in a while, he likes a woman instead of just enjoying her, and with hard work and a muzzle, you, too, could keep the company of a 56-year-old with the emotional maturity of a budding teen boy, has a prolapsed gut, and who takes his Cialis more faithfully than he does his blood pressure medication. Even more shockingly, Holcomb states the reason he does not get opportunities in Hollywood is because, get this, “Will Smith likes guys.”
Yup, Holcomb’s career is in the sh*tter because Will likes butt stuff.
Holcomb states that many men in Hollywood are gay and are ashamed that he will see what they do; maybe Holcomb was not poor enough. Speaking of homosexuality, of course, when prompted, he agreed with Boosie’s statement about his lesbian daughter not being allowed in his home because she might contaminate her siblings. Newton addressed Boosie’s hypocrisy with his song lyrics, “two redbones kissing in the backseat,” or Boosie’s asking women to put their labias on Instagram. Holcomb explained that Boosie’s actions were not hypocritical because if Boosie’s other daughters saw that, as long as they were raised right, then the daughters would know that the behavior that their father requests from other women is wrong, but also, according to Holcomb, having a homosexual child is failed parenting. So Boosie did a good enough job raising his daughters to know his actions were wrong, but not a good enough job raising his daughter, who turned out to be a lesbian.
At the end of the interview with the comedian—whose age is bigger than his career—Holcomb, an adamant non-voter, gets political.
Why someone who does not vote has so much to say about politics went unasked, but Holcomb didn’t hold back on his thoughts and did his best not to use his teeth as he tried not to show support for a racist. While he states he does not support either, if push comes to shove, he supports Trump over Harris. His reasons for this are because “she is fake.” Newton counters by asking, “Isn’t Trump fake?” Holcomb’s response is that they are both fake and both bigots, but he would rather support the bigot who shows who he is, versus the one who doesn’t. Somehow, the subject of sexuality comes up again. Holcomb, a man dressed in all pink, down to guest room décor, ends the interview with the sentiment that gay men are destroying the family and Black community but does not mind when women have sex with each other because he could marry a woman who messes with a woman — but men having sex with each other tears down the community. The man who destroyed his own marriage due to infidelity is worried about families.
If you are keeping score, this is also the same man who agreed with Boosie’s gross comments to his daughter regarding her sexuality. It’s a wonder how a man who can’t tell his eye from his asshole does not have a larger career, maybe because the best joke Corey Holcomb ever wrote was his name.
