Feminism is not always a thing that comes naturally. After being bombarded with images of what women should and should not be, many of them conflicting, there comes a time in many women’s lives when they stop trying to conform to societal standards and just exercise their own. With that said, the internet has birthed yet another controversial figure, via Tiktok virality.
A young woman, Kya, I presume, has gone viral, via her TikTok channel, CookingwitKya for her cooking videos which are less about cuisine and more about her thinking that she could take someone’s man with simply with food and twerking. Obviously, some of her content has pissed people off. But honestly, as a 20-something, I too thought that I could cook and cooch my way into being treated well by a man, and like so many others, I was wrong.
Maybe I could have. Maybe I just chose the wrong test dummy, but the fact remains that I did all the things right and I still ended up in a toxic relationship, because no matter how well I cooked, I still found myself having to bite my tongue and swallow my pride.
@cookinnwithkya #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp ♬ original sound – Cookin Wit Kya
There was no reward for my good behavior, and in fact, the kinder I was to him, the meaner he was to me. The meaner he was to me, the deeper I dug into being a person that was worthy of a love he did not even have for himself. No matter how often he would deflate my ego and my metaphorical tires, I would still spin my wheels, and there was no amount of confection that would make that our relationship sweet, or at the very least palatable.
@ccookinwitkya #cookinwitkya #cookingwithkya #viralvideo #fyp ♬ original sound – Cookinwitkya
Honestly, her food looks appetizing, but it is nothing any more spectacular than anyone else I know personally could do.
Clearly, it is her presentation.
The biggest problem I see with her content is her equivocating by slut-shaming, whilst using her sensuality. If the bulk of your content posits that you are better than other women, then you should not be shocked at the reaction. Still, misogyny, even when internalized by women, does not have to be logical to be utilized. The anger over Kya only fuels her power and her account and I highly doubt the men we like are remotely similar, so maybe I can just scroll without any emotion other than pity for her future exhaustion. If you don’t ever get to the point where centering men is tiring, then you might not have enough about yourself outside of cooking and f*cking that is worth consideration—and hey, that is ok—but it may not be enough for others.
Cooking for your partner is a beautiful thing, especially if your partner really likes that but a good meal ain’t always in the belly of a good man. But let society tell it, just having a man is a good thing, even if he isn’t. Thinking that your worth is based on how much someone else likes you is how women end up with extended mistreatment, and women like Kya are generally too young to know about that and too old to care. Cooking isn’t a gendered skill. If it were, the vast majority of chefs would not be men, yet the onus of knowing how to cook is always projected on women.
Kya is not doing anything particularly amazing; she is twerking while cooking breakfast. I am here to tell you, cooking well and f*cking even better won’t keep a cheater from cheating, a beater from beating and an ass from leaving a hole in your heart; it will, at best, give him greater incentive for you to not find out.
It was only a matter of time 😭😭 #cookingwithkya pic.twitter.com/ITReFr9zjY
— 5th Element 🪬 (@Ophiuchus901) December 14, 2024
Women like Kya don’t scare me beyond the fear I have for them. It can be a scary thing when you have played by the rules only to still get played. When you think how people treat you hinges on the quality and quantity of your attributes, you forget that sometimes sh*tty people are just that, sh*tty, and there is no amount of p*ssy nor grease popping that can modify their behavior.
This has been cooking with Kyla.
