My Money Is on the Black Guy Winning the Senate Seat

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Somewhere on the other side, the ancestors are restless, grinning down at the irony that two of their descendants will decide the fate of this nation in a runoff for control of the Senate, but stupefied about Christine’s boy, in particular, Herschel, the Republican candidate. 

A quick glance at Herschel Walker’s sports statistics, juxtaposed with his political speeches, and it’s clear; Herschel Walker is one of the fastest-slowest motherf-ckers who ever lived. The man who posed the question if “science said man came from apes and if that is true then why are there still apes?” at the very least, was an incredibly gifted athlete. Walker won the hearts of Georgians four decades before the senate race, by being a three-time All-American award recipient in football and track and field, for the University of Georgia, a school with only a 6% Black student population, TODAY. 

Herschel helped lead the 1980 Georgia Bulldogs to an undefeated season and a national championship, subsequently winning a Heisman in 1982. As I like to say, the only time thousands of white people are cheering for the Black kid to win is in a stadium and in a Senate seat that allows the white, evangelical, climate change-denying, hypocritical GOP puppeteers to continue destroying the country and planet. 

A hot ticket item for the GOP this year was abortion; a thing only they can get done in private and you cannot do at all. As Republicans peeled back women’s rights, one hair stuck to a wayward maxi pad at a time, with the help of an ultra-conservative SCOTUS, they used good ole boy Herschel to peddle their nonsense. Betting on the fact that they couldn’t be accused of racism and possibly shaking up the Black vote in the state that houses the city with the highest Black population, South Fulton Republicans pushed an intellectually disoriented Walker onto a state that already has enough issues. Republicans propped him up as the moral choice over Warnock, an actual reverend, at the same church once led by Dr. Martin Luther King, himself. One problem, though, is Herschel has paid for too many abortions to be pro-life. Among children he decided to give the thumbs up to (or down, if you’re Roman) his ultraconservative and equally annoying, but for different reasons and decibel levels, son Christian has publicly disowned him.

I am not sure if it was Herschel’s revolving kid reveal that only Nick Cannon could rival, or that it was uncovered that he paid for multiple abortions (with checks no less, how gauche), or Christian’s claims he regularly beat and stalked his mother, that did it. Either way, Christian was pissed enough to vocalize not wanting his father to win. And if I told you the GOP was pissed too and promptly asked him to drop out of the race, I would be a liar, like Herschel. 

Speaking of which, at one point during his campaign, he claimed to have graduated in the top 1% from UGA, which honestly is a super commendable feat because graduating in the top 1% is extremely hard, especially when you didn’t even graduate. This is a weird thing for Herschel to claim, especially since it isn’t a secret that he dropped out after his junior year to play football professionally.

A liar. A cheater. A hypocrite. A woman beater. A bad father. Greens, beans, potatahs, tomatahs.

A party that houses pedophiles cannot possibly care who is representing them. They just want to win. They want to spread their gospel-like covid in the summer of 2020, suffocating the masses with their draconian laws, further expansion of the divide between rich and poor.

The white, evangelically spearheaded GOP can use Herschel Walker to fulfill their diversity quota and possibly attract a wayward negro or two who swears to have somehow transcended racism, which of course, they do not believe in unless it is in the reverse. This means nil in a world that once saw Black overseers doing the bidding of their white owners, injuring their own for a morsel of favor. Some Black people don’t care that they have more in common with the abused than the abuser. 

White Evangelicals have used their moral superiority and religion as a backdrop to their terrorism in Black spaces for centuries…those were crosses they burned… crosses. White evangelicalism and racism have been kissing cousins since inbreeding was a thing, and if you’ll do your cousin, you’ll do anything to protect white supremacy, even hire a Black man for the job. 

Walker got the least votes for any of the nine Republicans on the ticket, but let’s be honest, while some conservative voters simply used logic and voted for the more qualified candidate, others still could not bring themselves to vote for a Black man at all and left it blank, but also, thank you to them, kinda. 

Herschel literally admitted that Warnock was the better candidate by stating, “I’m just a country boy, you know I’m not that smart…and he’s a preacher, he’s a smart man.” I guess it would be worse if he actually knew he is a do-boy for white supremacy. I guess ignorance is bliss, but just like religion, it still doesn’t belong in politics.

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