As one of the most intensely divisive and controversial contests in recent political history, the 2024 presidential election was no ordinary event, to say the least. The rhetoric surrounding this particular appointment was engulfed in a lack of respect and a level of sexist and racially charged aggression so incredibly potent it compelled every conversation and influenced outcomes in ways we haven’t seen before.
With news reports streaming 24 hours a day, these tensions have been amplified, provoking strong emotional reactions even from those who usually don’t pay much attention to politics. Many parents are now noticing that this volatility has trickled down to their children, leading to a range of questions and concerns about how to talk to them about the election and its potential impacts.
This week, as we navigate the rollercoaster of emotions stemming from the election and its aftermath, it’s important to remember that kids are also feeling the weight of these events, even if it’s hard to see. Many of us adults are experiencing enormous anxiety and stress during this time, and it’s only natural for young people to pick up on these feelings, even if they can’t fully express or understand them. They might also have questions about what will happen or worry about the future; these concerns can be overwhelming.
That being said, what can we do to educate our children about the aftereffects of the election and the significance of our participation in democracy? How do we reduce their stress while setting examples of civility during these unsettling and agonizing times?
According to child experts, the following are important points to keep in mind when talking to our kids about the election results.
Children Absorb Everything Around Them
Kids are incredibly perceptive, especially when it comes to the emotions and behaviors of their parents.
“They’re really good at picking up on our feelings,” Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, tells Vogue. “They can see it in our eyes and notice when we’re tense. A parent’s anxious body language or fearful tone could influence your tot, teaching them what to fear or avoid.”
According to research, about one-third of children with an anxious parent may also develop similar mental health issues as they grow up. This connection highlights how closely children can mirror their parents’ feelings. For instance, even babies as young as 12 months are sensitive to stress signals from their mothers, which can be measured through changes in their heart rates.
Modeling appropriate behaviors for our kiddos is crucial because they are constantly observing and absorbing the actions of the adults around them. “Parents need to manage their anxiety and emotions,” says Corinn Cross, MD, a Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. “This sets the tone for their children both in how they manage their own emotions and how much anxiety they feel.”
It’s Okay to Express Some of Your Feelings Around Your Child
When it comes to sharing and demonstrating complex feelings and emotions in the company of our children, it’s essential to find a way that is appropriate for their age and understanding. “When your child asks if you were upset, you can acknowledge that you’re sort of worried,” says Karp. “But it’s usually best not to say you’re scared or frightened.”
It’s also helpful to focus on sharing positive thoughts wherever possible. “Parents should try to remember to teach their children that most people in this country actually want the same things,” says Cross. They (mostly) see the same issues but “differ in how to approach those issues and how to fix those problems. There often isn’t a perfect solution to problems – every solution comes at a cost.”
It’s easy to let our immediate reactions guide us, especially during conflicts or disagreements. However, we have a unique opportunity to teach our kids the importance of compromise and finding common ground, even when our instincts might push us toward frustration or stubbornness. “Teach your child that it’s easy to be respectful to someone who sees the world the way you do,” says Cross, “but we are tasked with showing respect to those who seem to differ from us.”
Above all, Maintain a Sense of Security and Safety
“Though you can’t protect your child from all the harsh realities of the world, you do want to shield them from very distressing news,” says Karp. “Scary events can be majorly magnified in the impressionable minds of children. It’s not necessary to talk to them about something that hasn’t happened yet. Little ones have big imaginations, which means your child may think that if they think something frightening will happen…it will happen.”
Karl also emphasized that kids don’t need the doom scroll or the endless back-and-forth that comes with it. Instead, it’s crucial for them to understand that their safety and well-being are the top priorities for the adults in their lives. In a world where information can often feel overwhelming and negative, it’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of anxiety and fear, but that’s not what they should focus on. Rather, they should recognize that the adults around them – like parents, teachers, and guardians – are there to listen to and guide them. “If you do need to talk to them, use simple, straightforward language. You shouldn’t lie,” says Karp, “but you don’t have to hit them with the whole adult truth.”
Creating a calm refuge in the home is essential for every child, especially when they are faced with seemingly endless, unpredictable challenges. As Karp highlights, while many aspects of life are beyond our control, we can focus on actions within our reach that promote peace and stability.
Simple activities like taking a leisurely walk, enjoying a bike ride, diving into a good book, or even participating in community service can make a big difference.
