After watching Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral a few months ago, I was not only appalled but embarrassed for and by the many African heads-of-state who flew to England (I’m sure on their taxpayers’ or citizens’ dimes) and walked past their own jewels, just to pay their final respects to the entity that stole them. Dear African diaspora, what was so forgivable about the atrocities committed by royals that made it justifiable to love them when they clearly do not love you back? Watching the victims of colonization literally crying over the death of their oppressors seemed too surreal. Unfortunately, it was real, and I’ve got some bad news for you if you stan the royals.
Well, love… You stan white supremacy.
The root word for supremacy is supreme, and who are considered the most supreme? Why European monarchies are, of course. For those who do not know, white supremacy and Christianity have been besties since at least around the 9th century. Rulers/landowners began to consolidate land and resources and needed a good lie to tell the people why it was the proper thing to do. They convinced scared and resourceless people that even though things were super sh-tty on Earth, at least they could get to heaven by not disobeying the ruling class and bonus points for worshipping at their feet. Seeing as how most people lived really sh-tty lives back then, it was at least something to believe in. I imagine the conversation went something like this, “Hey, poor person. You know God, the one that never talks to you, well yea. Um,. He talks to me all the time. No forreal. Like, we go way back. Like we went to the same school and everything. I mean, you could say we were almost in the same class, but he skipped a grade, so I’m like right under him, but anyway, he told me to tell you that I’m better than you and you’re supposed to pay me money to worship me.”
What is left of history books will tell you that America wanted to break free of the aristocracy (while still holding human beings captive) and become the land of the free, completely eschewing any references to despotic monarchs; Disney sure showed that concept was a lie. Little girls are force-fed this propaganda that just like the pauper girl with tattered clothing and humble beginnings, you too can be rescued from your life of averageness and be whisked away to a castle because you, in fact, are better than everyone else, but for no particular reason. I mean, look, that sounds like a dream, sign me up. It’s extremely understandable that young girls grow up and do not let go of the fairytale, and even though they themselves aren’t actual princesses, the obsession with royalty never died.
When Meghan Markle first hit news cycles, a lot of Black women felt a sense of pride, and I never understood why. Meghan and I have very little in common other than both being born to Black mothers and having worked in entertainment. Beyond that, I have no sense of community with her.
My Blackness does not come with a question mark.
I cannot straighten it out of my hair. I cannot leave it at home with my mother. She is a biracial woman whom the world reminded that the one drop rule contains a big drop; a lesson I never had to learn. She married into a family with a literal history of imperialism based off white supremacy and was shocked that, dare I say, they showed their true colors. The amount of vitriol she received, you would think she chased someone down in a car and caused their tragic death or something.
When it comes to Royals, specifically of the European variety, what have they done other than take? What have they given to the world other than cholera? They are not the purveyors of peace, understanding, charity, or grace, and yet they seem to get the grace of being believed to possess all these traits naturally. European monarchies sanctioned the torture, murder, rape, pillaging, indoctrination, theft and enslavement of other human beings for centuries, and somehow, I am to believe these are the people God ordained to rule?
Take King Leopold II, for example. He was estimated to have murdered one to 15 million Africans. The current Belgian monarch, who is in his lineage, of course, has his middle name. Imagine being named after a mass murderer. Royals are nothing but lineages of degeneracy and defect. Let’s face it, anyone who would rather f-ck their cousin than a commoner has elite issues. I’m expected to take cues on social propriety and elegance from incestual billionaires who refuse to fix their f-cked up teeth? I’m talking to you, Charlie. ‘Cause let’s be real, if God don’t like ugly, then why, why, oh why would he choose the most haphazardly featured people to be the face of supremacy and divinity? From remnants of the disjointed Hapsburg Jaw to the sonar-sized ears that the current King of England sports, under his comeover and those three strands of hair, he has been more committed to preserving than his marriage with Diana. Royalty is the matter of being considered better than others simply because you exist, and where have I heard that before? There is no talent involved. There is no personality that is best suited for the job. There is no superpower to covet. Blue bloods still bleed red when it’s all said and done, especially if they have hemophilia.
It is literally just a group of white people saying, “Hey guys, we have decided that we are better than you are,” and either people agreed or didn’t have the power to fight back, and it just stuck, for centuries, because am I really supposed to believe that a lineage of murderers and thieves were ordained by God, himself?
Hmmm. Gotta give God the side-eye on that one, too, if that’s the case.
Royals are not special people outside of a bullied social contract. They do not possess any actual feats associated with supremacy. None of them can dunk on Lebron. None of them have Einstein-level processing skills. They are not immortal. They cannot outsing Keke Wyatt, and I bet they probably have ugly feet. Who are these people other than hoarders of wealth and not dentifrice? Does the entire world have Stockholm Syndrome?
Believing the lie that European monarchies are the standard when they are a lineage of not having standards is nothing but taking white supremacy by its dumbo-sized ears and kissing it in its rancid, undermaintained mouth.
