So, apparently the IRS has a new tax bracket. Did y’all hear about it?
The new bracket is called “rich enough for the government to look at your tax mess and say, ‘You know what? We ain’t seen nothin’ NEXT!’”
According to a settlement document made public Tuesday, the U.S. government has agreed to permanently drop tax claims against the Orange Menace, his sons, and the Trump Organization as part of a deal resolving his $10 billion lawsuit over the leak of his tax returns.
Check the language.
The government is “forever barred and precluded” from examining or prosecuting current tax matters involving Trump and his family business. Which raises the obvious question for every ordinary American who has ever been sweated by the IRS over a missing form, a side hustle payment, or a math error from three years ago. If the most powerful man in the country gets a permanent force field around his existing tax mess, then tell me why should the rest of us keep opening those scary little envelopes like obedient little peasants?
The IRS is now ‘forever barred’ . . . not ‘pending further review’ or ‘subject to appeal’ . . . FOREVER barred from examining the current tax matters involving Donald Trump, his sons, and the Trump Organization.
Now, the Justice Department wants everybody to calm down and understand that this supposedly does not cover future audits. Fine. Let’s be precise. But precision does not make this less obscene. It means the government has agreed to permanently wall off the current tax matters and existing claims involving Trump, his sons, and the Trump Organization. That is still a hell of a thing to tell a country full of people who can get sweated over a missing 1099, a side hustle payment, or a mileage deduction.
Since they got the whole family plan, then let’s go on ahead and shut the whole freakin’ audit system down for everybody else too.
Ordinary Americans get letters from the IRS over a missing form, a side hustle payment, a typo, a child tax credit, a cash app transaction, or a few hundred dollars they allegedly miscalculated three years ago. People panic. They lose sleep. They dig through shoeboxes, bank statements, W-2s, 1099s, receipts, screenshots, and prayers to Black Jesus trying to prove they are not criminals trying to cheat the government.
The rest of us are out here saving CVS receipts like they are Dead Sea Scrolls because the government might ask why we claimed $18.47 in office supplies. These bloodsuckers will audit a schoolteacher for buying pencils, chase a DoorDash driver over mileage, and make a home health aide prove she didn’t accidentally breathe in a tax credit.
But Donald Trump sues the IRS for $10 billion, and suddenly the government is like, “Our deepest apologies, Your Orange Majesty. Please accept this lifetime supply of financial invisibility and a complimentary robe from the House of Untouchable Assholes.” They’re like, “Sir, we are so sorry the laws briefly looked in your direction. It won’t happen again. Accountability is only for the poor and middle class.”
Now the same system that will chase a waitress over tip income, a teacher over classroom deductions, a freelancer over mileage, and a small business owner over paperwork is supposedly going to be legally blocked from examining the tax matters already attached to a man who has spent his entire public life treating rules like suggestions written for peasants?
Absolutely TF not! If the IRS can be blocked from examining Trump’s existing tax issues, then it has no moral authority to terrorize the rest of us over ordinary paperwork. If his sons and his organization get a permanent force field around existing tax scrutiny, then every working person in America deserves one too.
Fuck it!
No more audits for nurses. No more audits for teachers. No more audits for barbers, truck drivers, gig workers, home health aides, small business owners, single mothers, retirees, or anybody else trying to survive in this economy while billionaires treat the government like customer service.
This is the government saying there are two tax systems in America: one for people who work for a living, and another for people powerful enough to sue the referee, fire the rulebook, and walk away with immunity. And the insult is that the rest of us are still expected to clap for the fraud, fund the country, and be grateful when they don’t come looking for the last $37 we forgot to report.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Not for all the nopes that ever noped in all of Nopeville!
Because what this lates boolshit tells us is that the government ain’t broke. It is not “concerned about precedent.” It is not “trying to avoid divisiveness.” This government knows exactly how to move when the right people want protection. It knows how to find the money. It knows how to write the language. It knows how to bend the rules and call it constitutional. It knows how to turn the Justice Department into a concierge desk for rich white grievance and their goblins. It knows how to wrap a grift in legal stationery and dare the rest of us to act like we’re too stupid to see the scam.
And Y’all, this is not just about taxes. This is about a whole government being refitted into a luxury spa for powerful people who believe accountability is something that happens to other folks like you and me. And while they’re at it, they are reportedly setting up an “anti-weaponization” fund for people who claim they were victims of government targeting.
Let’s keep it 100, they are inventing reparations for MAGA feelings. Oh, there’s zero money for reparations for slavery. No reparations for Jim Crow and lynchings. No reparations for redlining, stolen wages, police terror, medical experimentation, segregated schools, poisoned neighborhoods, or generations of state-backed racial plunder. Nope. But they got reparations money for the grievance goblins.
They got reparations for the people who spent years screaming “law and order” until the law ordered them to sit down somewhere. Reparations for the crowd that thinks being investigated is the same thing as being oppressed. Reparations for the folks who stormed, schemed, lied, threatened, obstructed, grifted, and then collapsed on the fainting couch the minute the government tried to hold them accountable.
They want taxpayers to fund their boo-hoo fund. They want the public to pay damages because the government briefly behaved as if rich people should answer questions. They want apologies, checks, immunity, and maybe a commemorative plaque that says, “Here lies accountability. Killed by executive privilege and one very fragile billionaire in a diaper.”
Meanwhile, ordinary people are still getting squeezed from every direction. Food costs too much. Rent is high as hell. Insurance is a racket. Student loans are a shackle. Medical bills are out here acting like loan sharks. People are working two jobs, three jobs, side hustles, night shifts, weekend shifts, and still standing in the grocery store doing spiritual warfare over the price of food.
But somehow the government has time, money, imagination, and legal creativity to build a comfort station for people who think consequences are persecution when they happen to Republicans and MAGATs.
And please do not miss the bigger insult here. The same government that will make a single mother prove she deserves a child tax credit is now telling us Donald Trump and his whole organization may get a velvet-lined escape hatch from scrutiny. The same system that can terrorize a gig worker over mileage is suddenly too delicate to examine a billionaire’s books. This is the moral architecture of the country showing its ugly ass in broad daylight.
Laws are for workers. Audits are for peasants. Punishment is for poor people. Scrutiny is for small businesses, freelancers, waitresses, teachers, nurses, barbers, home health aides, and anybody else without a private jet, a political cult, and a legal team big enough to fill a wedding reception.
So no, do not tell me America cannot do reparations. Do not tell me America can’t cancel debt. Do not tell me America cannot fund schools, feed children, house people, protect elders, or stop bankrupting families for getting sick. America can do whatever the fuck it wants when the beneficiary is powerful enough.
Be clear, Y’all, this settlement is not just about Donald Trump’s taxes. It is about a government that can move mountains when wealthy white grievance needs a couch, a check, a tissue, some damn smelling salts, and a lifetime exemption from scrutiny while it keeps telling ordinary struggling and hurting folks to wait and die.
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