Badly Built Bleach Blonde Lashes Out Over More Qualified Coworker’s Cornea Coiffure

Last night, in a special session, the United States House of Representatives Oversight Committee turned into a sh*t show, even more than usual, when representatives of a nation that was supposedly built on equality once again showcased how to start a fight with a Black woman and then cry the loudest after your defeat.

According to The Hill, last night’s House Oversight Committee was called into session because the Republican party was attempting to hold Merrick Garland in contempt for not handing over audio tapes. These tapes contained an interview between President Biden and special counsel Robert Hur; the committee already has the written transcripts in its possession. The chaos started when Republican representative and known incendiary, Marjorie Taylor Greene (R., GA), posed a shady rhetorical question, asking which Democrats had employed Judge Juan Merchan’s daughter. Juan Merchan is presiding over Trump’s hush money trial, so of course Republicans naturally hate him.

Representative Jasmine Crockett (D., Texas) responded by asking what relevance Greene’s remark had concerning Garland. Greene, not immediately known for her aesthetic appeal, then criticized Rep. Crockett’s false eyelashes, as the reason she was not able to read why the committee had been called to session.

It must be documented that talking about what someone has going on with their face is very bold coming from someone whose face screams of wasted plastic surgery money, money that would have been better spent on intense therapy. 

Subsequently, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D., N.Y) asked that the committee strike down Greene’s comments and demanded that she apologize. This exchange further devolved into a verbal sparring match between AOC and MTG, with Greene insulting Ocasio’s intelligence. Greene, someone far too good for accountability, responded how she would never apologize to AOC.

We love a representative so stuck in their ways and unable to achieve personal growth. 

While also representing the great state of Kentucky, known for its bluegrass and abject poverty, Representative James Comer moonlights as a regular in the uppermost part of serial sexual abuser Donald Trump’s sphincter; he is also the Head of the Oversight Committee.

In a complete shock to no one with a three-digit I.Q., Comer decided that Greene’s comments about Crockett’s appearance were not against House rules of “engaging in personalities,” which is essentially lawmaker jargon for hurling personal insults. After she was insulted unprovoked, Crockett then asked if she spoke of a “bleach blonde bad built butch body,” that would also be “engaging in personalities,” you know, because she was not speaking of anyone specifically. Of course, Comer, whose eyes were probably irritated from being covered in Trump’s feces, was not able to see the correlation and the hypocrisy in his appalment towards Crockett’s statements, but not towards Greene’s.

While it is not comforting that any of our lawmakers are engaging in poo-projecting politics, it is telling how many people are willing to paint Crockett as the villain; some even have gone so far as to call her ghetto; yes, Savannah Hernandez, that is f*cking racist.

There is an expectation that Black women are supposed to respond to aggression with kindness, rather than in kind, no matter how antagonistic the hostility, while the aggressor still gets to be the moral superior. Greene’s privilege was weaponized, especially by Comer. It would be unnecessary to inform the reader that he is indeed a Republican who is investigating the Biden family but has hindered several investigations into Donald Trump.

In a shocking twist, Lauren Boebert, who is not the biggest fan of her wondertwin Marjorie, attempted to calm things down and even apologized to the American people.

Aww, look; Earth is healing.