There is nothing quite like the collective joy of a Black family watching their child step onto a college campus, a moment that feels like a culmination of years of dreams, hard work and dedication. We raise our kiddos to be twice as good just to get into these institutions, so oftentimes, it’s not just their victory.
It’s a triumph for the entire village that nurtured them.
From buying those extra-long twin sheets with all the trimmings to making trips to Costco to stock their mini-fridge with their favorite snacks, each small act is infused with love and hope.
We pray over them, just like our own parents prayed over us. And when move-in day finally arrives, we guide them through the whirlwind of emotions – first-day jitters, navigating new surroundings and the daunting prospect of tough professors.
And even though everyone is enjoying the celebration, there’s a quiet worry about life on campus: sexual assault.
It’s a heavy thought.
Navigating the aftermath of an assault is never easy, but for many Black individuals, it can feel like an uphill battle against a tangled web of institutional bias and cultural pressure. When seeking justice, the road is often steeper and lonelier, because systemic barriers like racial profiling, mistrust in law enforcement and a lack of support from their new community are realities that hit hard.
According to data from the CDC and the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, the lifetime prevalence of sexual violence is notably higher among Black women at 22%, compared to 18.8% for white women and 14.6% for Hispanic women.
But the numbers only tell half the story.
The system forces underreporting through institutional barriers, fear, stigma and damaging, racialized stereotypes like the “Jezebel” trope. And as a result, Black and minority student survivors are statistically far less likely to formally report campus sexual assault than their white peers.
It’s like walking a tightrope, where one misstep can lead to further marginalization instead of support. But as parents, we have to keep working to bridge that gap.
We also need to keep working on moving past the awkwardness and improving how we talk about sexual assault prevention and survival.
Let’s take a deeper dive into what’s actually happening on the ground and how we can better equip our students with the tools, vocabulary and the unwavering support they need to navigate sexual assault safely.
In a recent piece for Psychology Today, college mental health specialist Dr. Marcia Morris broke down some key ways parents can talk to both their daughters and sons about actively reducing campus sexual violence.
Prevention
Prevention for our Young Women
1. Attend a rape prevention program.
A powerful step we can take is getting our daughters plugged into programs specifically designed to help them recognize danger and own their power.
Take the Enhanced Assess, Acknowledge and Act Program (EAAA) for instance. It’s a space where college women gather in small, supportive groups to learn exactly how to size-up a risky situation, speak up with confidence and even use physical defense if they ever have to. It’s all about giving them the tools to trust their gut and resist harm.
It’s also worth a quick call or email to the university to see if they offer EAAA or a similar safety program on campus. It’s just one more layer of protection to help keep our girls safe.
2. It’s important to know that consent can be given and taken away at any moment.
If she invites someone into her dorm room and agrees to become intimate, she still has the right to say no at any time and he must respect her decision and stop.
3. When it comes to parties and social life, the golden rule is simple: never go it alone.
Remind her to use a rock-solid buddy system. Going out with a trusted friend-group means they arrive together, check in on each other throughout the night and make sure everyone gets home safely.
It builds a culture of looking out for one another – one person leaves, the whole crew leaves. No exceptions.
4. Limit or cut down on drinking alcohol.
Research shows that alcohol is involved in about half of all campus sexual assault cases, whether it’s used by the victim, the attacker or both. We have to be real about how substances can be weaponized or cloud judgment, but let’s make one thing absolutely, undeniably clear – and we need to say this loud enough for the people in the back: if a young woman has been drinking, she is never, under any circumstances, to blame for being assaulted. Period.
The responsibility, the fault and the shame belong entirely to the attacker.
We have to remind our daughters that their safety is paramount, but we must also actively remind our sons that a person who is intoxicated cannot give consent.
Prevention for our Young Men
1. Join a peer support program that teaches how to build healthy relationships and avoid sexual assault.
If they’re looking for a safe space to talk about boundaries, consent and what healthy relationships actually look like, consider joining organizations like It’s On Us. They partner with colleges across the country, including several HBCUs, to host honest, student-led conversations around preventing sexual assault.
Connecting with one of their local chapters will provide practical tools on how to protect yourself, support friends and help build a campus culture where everyone is respected and safe.
2. Most college campuses have rules that require clear agreement between both people before engaging in any intimate activity.
When it comes to intimacy, genuine respect means making sure everyone is fully on board. No guessing games, no assumptions.
Most colleges enforce what’s known as “affirmative consent,” which simply means getting a clear, enthusiastic and ongoing “yes” through words or actions every step of the way.
Body language can sometimes get misread in the moment, so using your words to check in and get a clear verbal green light is always the safest, most respectful move.
3. Steer clear of social media posts that insult and belittle women.
What we feed our minds shapes how we treat each other in real life and right now, social media algorithms love to push rage-bait and “gender war” content that tears women down.
Protecting your peace – and showing up for the women in your life – means hitting “unfollow” or “not interested” on pages that thrive on disrespect and harmful stereotypes.
Curating a feed that actually uplifts, respects and celebrates women isn’t just good for their own mental health; it’s a real way to push back against toxicity and foster genuine respect in our community.
4. Avoid or reduce alcohol use, as described above.
Prevention for Bystanders
If you see a risky sexual situation, take action or call the police. Studies show that teaching bystanders can help decrease violence against women on college campuses, and more schools are starting to offer training programs.
Support
Remind your daughter early and often that no matter what happens, she can always come to you and you will have her back, no questions asked. And when someone’s boundaries have been violated, having choices is essential to healing. Let her stay in the driver’s seat when it comes to contacting the school or the police; offer gentle encouragement, but respect her decision either way.
If she is dealing with a situation of sexual assault, Dr. Morris recommends to encourage her to take the following steps:
1. Schedule a medical evaluation: Make sure she gets checked out for STI testing and pregnancy prevention services as soon as possible.
2. Connect with a campus victim advocate: These professionals offer free, confidential support and can help coordinate housing, class changes and next steps.
3. Reach out to campus counseling: Getting her connected with a campus therapist gives her a dedicated space to process what she’s going through.
4. Look into psychiatric support: If she experiences ongoing insomnia, anxiety, depression or PTSD, don’t hesitate to help her see a psychiatric provider who can offer specialized care.
