“Free My Baby Daddy,” Mariah the Scientist screamed in front of a crowd of adoring fans, after successfully wrangling him away from his ex Jerikka Karlae-for now. Their whirlwind romance has yet to be hindered by cement walls that may or may not hinder WiFi connections on burner phones. Since May of 2022, a very innocent Jeffrey Lamar Williams has been unjustly detained in the Fulton County Jail for RICO charges, most specifically, 56 counts of illegal substance trafficking and firearm possession charges. Nowwww…I know that there is an immediate jump to conclusions when we speak of Jeffrey and criminality, but that just isn’t so. As pointed out by his excellent counsel, we have gotten it all wrong when it comes to Jeffrey, a very innocent man.
The thing about Jeffery is that we were listening to the music incorrectly, the entire time. While so many people wanted to relegate his many great works as mumble rap, the truth-according to his attorney-is that Jeffrey is actually a gospel singer. In defense of his client against a lifetime of charges, he alluded that many of the popular phrases that are associated with the popular rapper have been taken out of context. While there had been great speculation to what some of those phrases meant, his lawyer cleared that up. The phrase Pushing P had long been a hood enigma; no one knew what it meant, but they were sure it was a good thing. And as of November 28th, 2023, we have an answer.
Pushing P means “Pushing Positivity,” which makes sense seeing as how he is such an upstanding pillar of the community-half of which he, Nick Cannon, and Future have fathered. Several other revelations about the meanings of words and phrases associated with the ever-faithful pharmaceutical philanthropist, including his name, which according to Steel, the latter part is an acronym for T.ruly H.umble U.nder G.od, came to light. Wow, he truly is a man of God. While part of his RICO charges kind of involve a pesky little murder with one of the alleged henchmen, of his gang YSL, pulling the trigger, he didn’t make that man do that. The only thing that Jeff is killing is the fashion game. In fact, the letters YSL (also the letters of his alleged gang) are an homage to the great fashion house Yves Saint Laurent, and not previously reported as Young Stoner Life, even though Jeffrey has been caught with the possession of drugs many times before this most recent arrest.
Now honestly, I was on the fence about Young Thug’s innocence-even though he has a longer rap sheet than his discography-until I saw the tweet that changed everything. Back in December of 2011, the musical genius with a mouse in his hand and a dream in his heart, tweeted that the word S W A G meant Someone Who Admires God. Now, if he wrote that over ten years ago, that should establish a pattern of this guy’s character, except that time when he went on a rampage towards a Delta employee. In a rare move, the judge has allowed the prosecution to use some of his lyrics as evidence to his crimes, including the line, “we smoke dicks.” This further confirms the assertion made by his attorney that Thugger is merely an entertainer and is faking it for the cameras, so free Mariah’s baby daddy and Push for his punishment to be positively over.
