Why Black Gen Z is Breaking Up With Dating Apps

Recently, a bunch of people on Reddit were chatting about Bumble, the dating app where women have to make the first move. Some users were not happy with it at all. They said that even though other apps were full of fake profiles, scammers, and weirdos, Bumble was the worst. 

While some users did have success on the dating app, others complained of having trouble getting phone numbers or planning dates. But in the end, the overall consensus was that most dating apps are just not that great. One person even asked, “They all suck so which one sucks the least?”

After agonizing over countless profiles and swiping left, lots of younger Black folk are now craving a simpler dating scene. Like so many things on the internet, online dating made everything available all at once and turned socializing into a bit of a competition. Waves, swipes, likes, and roses represented the desires of users who were hungry to find connections in any way possible, but it seems dating apps are losing their charm, especially among a younger demographic. These apps used to be seen as the future of finding love, but lately, there’s a growing feeling that they’re just not working like they should.

Gen Z is the first generation to have internet connectivity from birth, and technology has always been a part of their lives, unlike previous generations who can remember a time before smartphones. So it’s pretty fascinating to see how something so high-tech is losing its appeal among younger daters. You would think that being between 18 to 27 years old, they would be all over dating apps, but that’s not the case. Despite the general popularity of dating apps in the U.S., it seems Gen Z is choosing not to participate.

According to a 2023 Statista survey, the majority of dating app users in the U.S. are between the ages of 30 and 49. Most of them are millennials, making up a whopping 61% of users. Gen Z, on the other hand, only makes up 26% of dating app users. Per Hinge’s D.A.T.E. report (Data, Advice, Trends and Expertise), this may be in part due to specific challenges Gen-Z daters encounter when it comes to using dating apps.

They often worry about things like fear of rejection and being seen as “cringe.” It’s not that older generations don’t experience these concerns, but they might have more experience dealing with dating rejection and bouncing back from awkward encounters, unlike Gen Z, who may have a harder time putting themselves out there and facing the possibility of being passed over or ghosted.

In today’s tech-mediated world, where everything is liked, attacked, labeled, and based on someone else’s approval, it’s no wonder dating apps can feel both impersonal and very personal at the same time. The struggle to make connections through dating apps could explain why Gen Z users are choosing to delete their dating apps altogether or not even bother trying.

Many have said that dating apps are losing their popularity across all age groups, as users feel that the algorithms are not effective in helping them find what they want. There is also a growing belief that these companies are more interested in upselling their customers by hiding useful features and users behind paywalls, so this disenchantment is particularly strong among women, minorities and people with disabilities, those who often experience harassment on the platforms. With this in mind, Gen Z, having witnessed previous generations struggle with the latest and greatest technology for meeting potential partners, is particularly critical of what dating apps have to offer. They prioritize self-care and authenticity in dating, and unfortunately, dating apps fall short of providing them with genuine, easy connections. 

So if Gen-Z is opting out of dating apps, then where are they finding potential partners? 

Surprisingly, many college-aged Gen Z daters are meeting people in person, whether it’s at school, through mutual friends, or simply by being out and about in the world. It may sound old-fashioned, but for them, dating a friend or someone from their community can actually help reduce the stress and anxiety that they typically face in the dating app environment.

This age group is also leveraging technology to connect with others in unique ways. Social media platforms have become a popular avenue for meeting possible mates because their beauty surrounds connecting with like-minded individuals who share similar interests. Their algorithms often show you accounts of people who enjoy the same things you do, making it easier to strike up a conversation via direct message, which can feel a little less formal and more organic than the normal dating app experience. While some dating apps do allow you to share your social media information to give prospects a better understanding of who you are, visual-based apps like Instagram and TikTok allow users to get a glimpse into someone’s personality and interests in ways dating apps may not offer. As a result, some Gen Z daters are bypassing dating apps altogether and turning to their social media communities for likely dates.

Another dating trend that’s catching on is the use of personalized Google docs to share detailed information about yourself and what you’re looking for. These “Date Me” docs go beyond the basic dating app profiles, allowing you to provide more in-depth summaries of your preferences. They can even include past partner reviews and calendar links to make it easier to schedule meet-ups. It’s a way to take control of the dating experience, similar to meeting someone “in the wild” or capitalizing off your social media contacts.

While it may seem counterintuitive, Gen Z is actually leading the way towards a less digital and more personal dating world. It seems that the oversaturation of technology in our lives has pushed them to rediscover the lost art of meeting people naturally. Even with the changes and limitations brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, this shift towards more human connections is truly inspiring. 

Perhaps the rest of us could learn from their example.